


What Happens in Vegas Doesn't Always Stay in Vegas

by lizardk98



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anniversary, Best Friends, Canon Compliant, Drunk Texting, Drunken Shenanigans, Engagement, Funny, Husbands, Las Vegas, Las Vegas Wedding, M/M, Marriage Proposal, One Shot, Stag Nights & Bachelor Parties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:33:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29100339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizardk98/pseuds/lizardk98
Summary: Ten years ago, Bokuto got to marry his best friend in the entire world...and then a week later, he married his husband.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Kozume Kenma, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 14
Kudos: 80





	What Happens in Vegas Doesn't Always Stay in Vegas

“I would like to take this chance to formally thank each and every one of you for coming today to celebrate our anniversary,” Bokuto stood up from where he had been seated and addressed the crowd with a smile. “Ten years is a long time, but it’s amazing just how fast that time flies when you’re having fun with your absolute best friend.” He looked to the side lovingly, heart swelling five sizes at the gaze that met his own.

Looking around and seeing all of the friends and family who had come to celebrate their special day, one of the most memorable days of his life, brought a tear to his eye; there were dozens of faces looking at him with soft smiles and fond expressions. His husband, however, was the only one with a scowl, frown lines deep, and Bokuto couldn’t help but chuckle. He raised his glass of wine and prompted the rest to do the same. “So, I would like to propose a toast. Ten years ago I married my best friend and the years have been full of nothing but laughter and love.”

Suddenly, there was an arm linking through his own, and he looked over to see that Kuroo was now standing at his side, teary expression of his own adorning his face. “Akaashi and Kenma are still a bit mad about it,” Kuroo placed a hand over his heart and they both turned and blew a kiss at their respective partners, “but that was truly one of our finest ideas thus far!”

“To ten great years and many more to come!” Bokuto lifted his glass and the rest followed suit. “You’re all welcome to stay as long as you want! Please, eat, drink, socialize, whatever you would like.” He turned to face his husband now, who was slumped down in his chair, arms folded over his chest, and a glower on his face. “How was that Keiji?” he asked excitedly.

“Kotarou,” Akaashi rubbed his temples and let out an exasperated sigh. “Must you do this every year?”

“Hey, at least he didn’t tell the story this time,” Kuroo butted into the conversation with a dangerous smirk on his face. “Sweet, sweet Akaashi, why can’t you just be happy for your husband and I on our special day?

“Yeah, don’t you know we’re just the _second husbands,_ ” Kenma walked over now and, if looks could kill, both Bokuto and Kuroo would have been long-dead.

Bokuto let out a boisterous laugh that shook the room, “Oh, come on you guys. You’ve gotta admit that it’s kind of funny to think about now. Plus it is a really good story. What a night…”

“Kotarou,” Akaashi warned.

“I remember it like it was just yesterday,” Kuroo joined in.

“Tetsuro, I swear to god, you better not-” but Kenma was cut off as his husband continued.

“It was ten years ago and my best bro and I were on our way to spend one last bachelor weekend together…”

_“Oh my god.”_

10 Years Ago

“Akaaaashi,” Bokuto whined loudly, holding his fiancé tight to his chest, tears falling from his eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay with me going so far away for the weekend? I feel bad leaving you here all alo-”

“Kotarou, I don’t want you to feel like you can’t do things that you want to do because of me,” Akaashi looked up with a warm smile. “I’ll be okay, I promise.”

“But, but won’t you be lonely!?”

“It’s just for a few days my love, and besides, Kozume is going to be staying with me since he’ll have the apartment to himself with Kuroo-san being gone.”

“If you say so…” he pouted, clearly not convinced.

“Oh come on, Bo, the guys will be totally fine!” Kuroo came up and clapped his best friend on the back. “Besides, in just a week you’re going to be married and boring. No offense,” he turned to Akaashi.

“None taken,” Akaashi answered through gritted teeth.

Kuroo faced his friend once again, “Think of this as our last big adventure together as bachelors! Bokuto and Kuroo, the best bros there’s ever been, take Las Vegas!

“You know what,” a smile finally found its way to Bokuto’s face, “you’re so right! This is going to be the best bachelor weekend ever!” he jumped up and down excitedly.

“Okay, okay, calm down there big guy,” Kuroo placed a hand on the other’s shoulder. “Now we should probably head to our gate before we miss our flight and end up having to go do pottery or something for your bachelor party with Akaashi and Kenma.”

Akaashi opened his mouth to retort but was cut off as Kenma looked up from his phone, where he had been very invested in whatever game he was playing, and stared his boyfriend dead in the eye. “Kuro, so help me god, if you gamble away all of my money I will kick you out.”

“That’s a bit harsh, Kitten,” he joked with a laugh, “and don’t you mean _our_ money?”

Kenma was not laughing. “I meant what I said,” he deadpanned. “Now go away so Keiji and I can finally enjoy some peace and quiet.”

“Aww, I’ll miss you too,” Kuroo leaned down and kissed Kenma on the top of his head; the latter leaned into the collar of his jacket, hiding his blush. “I love you so much. See you soon!”

“Yeah, yeah, I love you too, you nerd,” Kenma gave a small chuckle as he returned the kiss before the other walked away.

Bokuto turned to his fiancé with a teary expression once again. “…Agaaashii…”

“You will be just fine, as will I. I love you and I’ll see you soon,” Akaashi kissed the pouting man sweetly, returning the smile to his face. “I trust you, Kotarou. Now shoo,” he waved his hands, “go have fun.” And then, reaching up to whisper in his ear, “Please don’t let Kuroo-san rope you into anything too stupid…”

“I won’t!” Bokuto flashed his brightest smile and giggled. “When have I ever?”

36 Hours Later

Kuroo felt like death. He felt like worse than death. He felt like if death and the grim reaper and a hangover had a threesome and somehow produced a child, that he would be that child. 

“Oh god, what the fuck happened to me?” he groaned in an attempted to sit up but fell back down on the bed, entire body erupting in pain. “Where am I?...Who am I?... _What_ am I?”

After a few minutes, he finally found the will to pry his eyes open, instantly being blinded by the light. “Oh shit, is this heaven?” Chancing a look over to his right, however, he was met with the sight of his best friend, naked, face-planted on his chest, with drool spilling out of his mouth. “No. No, this is definitely hell.”

He tried to push Bokuto off of him, but the man was both larger and heavier than he was, so the attempt ended up being rather futile. “Bo,” he whispered.

“Mmmnnn, Keijiiiii,” Bokuto mumbled under his breath, snuggling tighter.

“Bo,” Kuroo chanced a bit louder this time.

“Hmmm ‘m so tired.”

“ _Bo_.”

“Hrng, just five more minutes and then we can fu-”

“Bokuto!”

“Shit!” Bokuto shouted as he rolled out of the bed.

Kuroo laughed hysterically and sat up, instantly wincing in pain.

“Oh my god, what is happening?” Bokuto stood up frantically, clearly panicking. “Where are we? How did we get here? Why don’t I remember anything from last night? Kuroo, what-” concern grew on his face when he saw his best friend wincing in pain. “Oh my god, bro are you okay!?”

“Yeah, I’m okay…” Kuroo grumbled, rubbing his temples. “My head and my ass just really hurt…”

Bokuto looked between the two of them, seemingly noticing for the first time that they were both very naked and had woken up very much on top of one another. He looked horrified, voice growing small. “Pl-please tell me we didn’t, umm, ya know,” he gestured to his lower body and then to Kuroo, who groaned in response.

“No, of course we didn’t,” he said confidently but with a nervous look on his face added, “uh, can you check the trash can just, just in case?” After Bokuto checked and shook his head, he let out a sigh of relief. “But my ass does really hurt. Here, can you look?”

Bokuto opened his mouth to protest but was cut off as Kuroo was already rolling over. He slapped his hand over his mouth to try to keep from laughing but it didn’t help. Soon, the room was filled to the brim with booming laughter.

“What? _What?_ ” Kuroo demanded. “What the fuck is so funny?”

“Ho-hold on,” Bokuto managed out through his hysterics and snapped a picture of his best friend’s bare ass.

“What the hell are-” but he stopped when Bokuto handed him the phone. “You have got to be kidding me. Oh god, please tell me this isn’t real,” he whined, shoving his head into the pillow.

“Bro when did you get a tattoo on your left ass cheek of a volleyball with ‘Kenma’ written in the middle? Oh, and look, there’s even a cute little cat!” Bokuto teased.

“Shut the fuck up, you overgrown owl,” Kuroo spat and threw a pillow at the other’s head, racking his brain to try to remember when he possibly could have gotten it without knowing. “I-it must have happened sometime last night, but I don’t remember shit. What the hell did we do?”

Bokuto opened his mouth to answer, but closed it just a moment later. “I…I don’t actually know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know!?” Kuroo shouted, growing angry.

“ _I don’t know_! You said you don’t remember either so why are you blaming me!?” Bokuto yelled back, offended. “You know, Keiji warned me about not letting you rope me into doing something stupid and clearly I should’ve listened to him!”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Kuroo stood up and faced the other, ignoring the pain. “ _You’re_ just as much at fault as _I_ am!”

“Am not!” Bokuto’s eyes grew wide. “Look, I’m just scared!”

“You’re not the one with a tattoo of a volleyball with your boyfriend’s name in it on your fucking ass!” Kuroo was practically seething.

“Yeah, well that’s _your own_ dumb fault because-” but the argument came to a halt when Bokuto’s phone rang loudly from the table beside the bed. He looked over, nervousness evident on his face.

“Well don’t just stand there, go see who it is,” Kuroo coaxed him.

Bokuto reluctantly complied, but when he picked up the phone, a look of confusion replaced the nervousness. “It’s…Daichi?”

“Like Sawamura?”

“No, like Steve…yes, like Sawamura,” Bokuto shot his best friend an irritated look. “Now shut up so I can answer this.”

“You shut up…” Kuroo mumbled under his breath.

“H-hey Daichi! I wasn’t expecting to get a call from you this early at,” he looked at the clock, “three in the afternoon. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Kuroo watched curiously as Bokuto talked to Daichi.

“Mhmm…What’s that?...I’m sorry, could you repeat that?...Yeah, it’s just me and Kuroo here…I-is that so?...Ha ha, _you don’t say,_ ” he shot Kuroo a look that meant that they were fucked. “Yeah…Mhmm…Yeah…Can you please tell him I’m sorry for worrying him…Yes, Keiji and I are just fine…Yes, the wedding is next week…Yes, I’m sure…Okay…Well, uh, t-thanks Daichi for letting me know…Yeah, I’ll see ya soon, buddy…Mhmm…Bye.”

“What the hell did he-”

“Oh god, we’re screwed,” Bokuto let out a nervous laugh as he scrolled through something on his phone.

“What are you looking at?”

“Oh god,” Bokuto’s face went pale, “we’re _so_ screwed.” Before Kuroo could ask again, he shoved the phone in his face.

On the phone screen was an article that read:

**Japanese Volleyball Star and Mystery Man (Friend? More?) Forcibly Removed from Strip Club in Las Vegas, Nevada.**

Kuroo looked up from the phone, mouth dry. “B-Bo-”

“Just read it.”

Upon further inspection, the article detailed how “Japanese Athlete Bokuto Kotarou” and “His Mystery Friend” were spotted being thrown out of a male strip club in Vegas. In an interview from one of the bouncers responsible for their removal, it was discovered that the reason was due to the fact that they were “so drunk that they had begun to strip and get up on the stage, themselves, grinding on one another and making the other patrons extremely uncomfortable.” 

Kuroo lifted his head slowly, panic written all over his face. “W-we got…thrown out of-”

“Please,” Bokuto raised a hand and pleaded with his friend. “Kuroo, please, don’t finish that sentence. I feel like I’m going to be sick.”

“How did he find it?” Kuroo asked anyway.

“A-apparently someone sent it to Hinata and he panicked and sent it to Daichi, who called to see if Keiji and I are okay.”

“At, at least now we know why we don’t remember anything from last night. We must have been so wasted that…” but he trailed off, horror suddenly painting over the panic. “Oh god, _Kenma!_ ”

“You’re worried about Kenma!?” Bokuto laughed in disbelief. “I’m getting _married_ in a week!”

“Yeah but you know, Kenma, bro. He _lives_ online,” he searched desperately for his phone, ultimately finding it in the pocket of his pants that had been strewn on the floor. “If one of them were to see the article, my money would be on Kenma. Oh god, if he did…” Kuroo mumbled to himself as he tapped through the messages on his phone before dropping it on the floor in shock. The conversation he’d just read was the last thing he’d expected to see. His hands came up to cover his mouth and tears started to form in the corners of his eyes.

“Kuroo, oh my god, are you okay? What happened? What did he say?” Bokuto rushed to his friend’s side, cautiously picking up the phone, afraid of what he would find when he did. The messages rendered him speechless.

**Kuroo: Heeeeeeeeeeey my little kitty cat <3**

**Kenma: What did I tell you about calling me that?**

**Kuroo: That you like it???**

**Kenma: Try again. -_-**

**Kuroo :(**

**Kenma: What do you want, Tetsuro?**

**Kuroo: O.O using my given name are we? You know how much that turns me oooooonn**

**Kenma: I’m going to turn my phone ooooffff.**

**Kuroo: Wait! I have am inportant question 4 u**

**Kuroo: *An important question lololololol**

**Kenma: I’m waiting**

**Kuroo: (diamond ring emoji)**

**Kenma: Why did you just send me an emoji of a ring?**

**Kuroo: Because I luv u and I want to marry you!!!**

**Kenma: That’s nice.**

**Kuroo: So whadaya say?**

**Kenma: About?**

**Kuroo: Marry me? <3**

**Kenma: Oh my god you were serious? You’re actually proposing to me over a text message? And are you drunk? You don’t sound like yourself.**

**Kuroo: Yesss! And I am not drunk!!!**

**Kuroo: (actually I am, but don’t tell Kenma…he’ll be mad hehehe)**

**Kenma: Oh trust me, he doesn’t want to know.**

**Kenma: But fine**

**Kuroo: Yeah you are fineeeee, baby**

**Kenma: Kuro**

**Kuroo: Yah?**

**Kenma: I’ll marry you.**

**Kuroo: Wait like for real!?!?!?!?**

**Kenma: I suppose. This isn’t quite how I imagined you asking me, but the humiliation you’re going to feel in the morning should make up for that.**

**Kuroo: Kyanmaaaaa I love youuuu!! Wait til I tell Bo!**

**3 Hours Later**

**Kenma: This message is for sober-Tetsuro. I really hope you were safe and didn’t do anything stupid last night. I love you.**

**Kenma: Oh, and I expect a real ring when you get home**

Bokuto looked up at his friend, who still had tears running down his cheeks, and rubbed up and down his arm in a comforting motion. “Are those happy tears or sad tears?”

“I don’t know!” Kuroo sobbed, dropping his head on the other’s shoulder. “O-of course I want to marry him. I want to marry him so bad! But, but why did drunk-me think it would be a good idea to propose over a fucking text message? That’s the least romantic thing ever!”

“Hey now,” Bokuto shushed him, “it could always be worse?”

Kuroo met his eyes and responded through choked-out whimpers, “How could it possibly be worse?”

“He could have said no.”

Kuroo sniffled and brushed a hand through his hair. “I-I guess you’re right…Oh my god,” Kuroo suddenly gasped in realization, “I’m engaged.”

“Congratulations, bro!” Bokuto hollered and pulled the other close in a tight hug.

“Umm, thanks but…Bo?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you maybe let me go?”

“But why? I’m so happy for you!” Bokuto only held him tighter.

“Yeah but…” he looked down at his own naked body which was now pressed against Bokuto’s and let out a sigh of defeat, giving into the hug. “Never mind. Thanks bro, I appreciate it.”

Just then, Bokuto’s phone went off once again and his body grew stiff in panic. They hadn’t exactly been having the most luck in the cellular department as of yet today.

“Are you going to see who that is,” Kuroo asked cautiously.

“I don’t know.”

“You probably should.”

“I don’t want to.”

“ _Bokuto._ ”

“ _Kuroo._ ”

Kuroo gave a disapproving glare.

“Fine,” Bokuto conceded. “But only because I want to.”

Kuroo started to laugh but stopped when he saw Bokuto go pale, gasping for breath like it had all been stolen from his lungs. “It’s Akaashi, isn’t it?”

“What do I do!?”

“Well you have to answer it or you’ll look even more suspicious…We really need to just turn these things off, ya know?” he held up his own phone.

Bokuto gulped hard and pressed the answer button with a shaky finger. “H-heeeey, Keiji! I miss you, love of my life.” Kuroo gave him a thumbs up from behind the screen.

“I just wanted to call and see how you’re doing, Kotarou. Are you and Kuroo-san having fun?” Akaashi’s voice asked through the phone.

That would be one way to put it.

“Y-yeah, so much fun! W-why do you ask?” Bokuto was starting to sweat. “What have you heard?”

Akaashi’s voice came out confused as he responded. “Nothing? That’s why I decided to call, because you haven’t said anything and normally you’re blowing up my phone non-stop. Why?” he questioned in a tone that made Bokuto’s knees start to shake. “Is there something you need to tell me?”

Bokuto sputtered and stuttered but nothing came out, so Kuroo took this as his opportunity to swoop in, taking the phone from his best friend’s hand and greeting the face on the screen with a sly smile. “Well hello there, Akaashi. You’re looking ravishing as always,” he winked. “Bo and I are doing just fine, but I’m glad you called.”

“Kuroo-san,” Akaashi looked up and down through the screen.

“What’s up, buttercup?”

“Why are you both naked?”

Kuroo’s cheeks heated up and he heard Bokuto suck in a sharp breath beside him. “Ah, you see, we were actually just getting ready to go check out the hot tub here at the hotel and you just so happened to catch us mid-change,” he chuckled, praying to every god he could think of that Bokuto’s fiancé would somehow believe the lie.

Akaashi was not convinced, not in the slightest, but decided not to press any further. Sometimes, he figured, it was better to just not know the answer. “Fine. But can you please put my fiancé back on the phone before you leave?”

“As you wish,” Kuroo handed the phone back to the other, who took it with shaking hands.

“H-hey again, Keiji! Thank you for calling, I’ve missed you but I really need to go now, the hot tub awaits!” he added with a nervous chuckle.

“Kotarou, wait-”

“Okay I love you and I’ll see you soon, bye!” he hung up and then turned to Kuroo. “How was that?”

“Awful, but it’s fine, we’ll think of some excuse on the flight back,” he patted the other on the shoulder. “Speaking of, can we just pack up our shit and leave early?”

Bokuto had never heard a better idea in his entire life. “I would literally love nothing more.”

They spent the next half hour gathering up their things, having to go searching for some of them, as the drunk versions of themselves had apparently found it hilarious to hide various belongings around the hotel room. Fortunately, they’d been kind enough to leave notes with clues. _Unfortunately_ , the clues were absolute shit.

Eventually, after they’d managed to find everything, or so they hoped, they were stood just inside the door and decided that it would probably be a good idea to check their boarding passes and make sure that they would be able to be exchanged for an earlier flight. If not, then there would be no use in going to the airport. They both reached into their back pockets and pulled out their wallets. What they each found rendered them speechless, but for very different reasons, to say the very least.

“K-Kuroo, there’s something y-you need to see,” Bokuto was in shock, speaking in a small voice and looking forward at nothing.

“Holy shit, Bo, check this out!” Kuroo overpowered the other, who still had not moved. “I’m rich!” He pulled out a thick wad of cash from his wallet, mouth hung open and eyes wider than some may think humanly possible.

Bokuto snapped out of his stupor momentarily and shook his head at the sight. “Oh god, please tell me we didn’t rob anything!” he whined in disbelief.

His best friend only chuckled, “Bokuto, you need to give us a _bit_ more credit than that, even drunk-us. We may have been stupid but we weren’t commit-a-crime stupid,” he rifled through the stack and pulled out a receipt from a casino with a winnings balance of $5,800.

Bokuto’s mouth was now just as wide. “Holy fucking shit, bro. But wait, didn’t Kenma tell you not to gamble?” he asked with an eyebrow cocked.

“Who cares!” Kuroo threw his hands in the air in glee. “He’s going to take it all back for sure when he sees _this._ ” He stuffed the cash back into his wallet and returned it to his pocket, looking up to meet Bokuto’s intense gaze. “Now what did you find?”

Bokuto gulped, hands growing clammy. “Well, it definitely beats what you found.”

“I kind of doubt that,” Kuroo smirked, but it was quickly replaced with a deep frown when Bokuto slowly turned the piece of paper around that had been precariously stuffed into his wallet. “What. The _fuck._ Is that?” Kuroo asked in a low, threatening voice.

“ _That_. Would be. Our marriage certificate,” the absent look on his face quickly morphed into one of panic. “Holy shit, holy shit. Fuck, fuck, _fuck_ , Kuroo!”

“What the hell does this mean!?” Kuroo nearly screamed.

“What do you think it means!?” Bokuto fell to the ground and started to rock back and forth. “The point of a bachelor party is to still _leave_ a bachelor, not fucking married to your best friend!”

“That, that can’t be all that was in there,” by this point, Kuroo had now joined his friend on the floor. “L-look again. Maybe it’s just a joke! You know the kind of assholes drunk-us were last night,” he suggested, a sense of false hope thick in his voice.

Bokuto shakily pulled his wallet back out and pulled out a slip of paper. What they thought would be a “gotcha!” message, simply said “check your camera roll, hubby ;).” He opened his phone, his _damn_ phone, and they watched a series of short videos documenting the night they’d completely forgotten.

In the first one, they could be seen taking shot after shot at the club, screaming at the top of their lungs about how Bokuto was getting married (if only they’d known how soon…). The second was of Bokuto hopping up on the stage, tearing his shirt off, and swinging it above his head, practically giving the entire club a strip tease, money being thrown at him left and right. The third was mostly a blur, but they could hear a gruff voice (of which they’d deduced to be the bouncer) yelling at them to get off the stage _now,_ soon followed by them laying on the ground in the street.

In the fourth, Kuroo was laying on a table, face-down, as a tattoo artist etched the awful design onto his left ass cheek. Bokuto, who fell asleep more than once, was holding his hand, having nails dug into his palm by Kuroo occasionally to bring him out of his drunken slumber, resulting in a loud yelp each time.

The fifth showcased them at a casino hooping and hollering as the amount on Kuroo’s machine kept creeping up and up and up until it reached the ridiculous amount that he would find in his wallet later.

The sixth was filmed by Bokuto, with the camera pointed on Kuroo as he texted Kenma. Bokuto was assuring him that “of course you should just ask him to marry you now! What bad could possibly happen?” They embraced and sobbed together when Kenma said yes.

And the seventh. The video that they had hoped did not exist. They were talking to the camera vlog-style, explaining that they were going to help Bokuto “practice getting married” by just doing it themselves!

_“Are you sure this is a good idea, Tetsu?” Bokuto had asked, giggling._

_“Of course it is! Why wouldn’t it be? It’s not like it counts anyway. Nothing counts when you’re drunk!”_

Bokuto shot Kuroo a hard glare and the latter cowered into his sweatshirt.

_“You’re so right! Oh my god, how are you always so smart, bro?”_

_“It’s a gift.”_

The eighth and final video was being filmed by someone who they had no idea who they were, though they soon found them out to be their “legal witness” that they had plucked from the street but come willingly with a “hells yeah guys. Man-love is so beautiful.” They watched in horror as Bokuto stood at the altar, face completely red and unable to stop laughing, and Kuroo walked down the aisle, sobbing uncontrollably about how today was the “happiest day of his life.”

The video cut off right after the priest, dressed as the late and great Elvis Presley, pronounced them “hubby and hubby,” and they pulled each other in for the sloppiest kiss that had probably ever happened in the history of ever.

They sat on the floor in silence, in shock, for what felt like hours, neither willing to be the first to speak. It was only after Kuroo started snickering that they both erupted into animated bouts of laughter, falling on top of one another and clutching their stomachs.

“Ho-holy shit, Bo,” Kuroo screeched out, “you’re my fucking husband!”

“I’m your fucking husband!” Bokuto agreed and doubled over in another fit of hysterics.

“And you’re getting married in a week!”

“I’m getting married in a week!”

The room didn’t quiet down until a knock came on their door, informing them that the front desk had received multiple noise complaints about their room. Finally settling down enough to pass as functioning human beings once again, they called an Uber and made their way to the airport.

When they stepped off of the plane, having never been happier in their lives to be back in Japan, Bokuto burst into tears once again.

“O-oh god, we’re back to this,” Kuroo patted his best friend on the back, “shhh, it’s going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay.”

“H-h-how am I supposed to look my _fiancé_ in the face and tell him that I’m already married!?” Bokuto flopped down to the ground, earning more than a few judgmental stares from people passing by, to which Kuroo quickly shooed them away.

“We just have to tell them exactly what we rehearsed on the plane and everything will be okay, right?”

“Y-yeah, I guess you’re right,” Bokuto wiped at the snot on his nose with the back of his hand.

“Gross,” Kuroo cringed. “Remind me why I married you again?”

Bokuto and Kuroo stepped off of the escalator and were met with the rather…unwelcoming faces of both of their (now) fiancés, arms folded over their chests and gazes set.

“H-hey, Kitten,” Kuroo tested, reaching up to run his fingers along Kenma’s cheek only to have them swatted away.

“Oh welcome home,” the shorter man glowered, “fiancé.”

“Heh, I thought you might be a bit pissed about that,” Kuroo scratched at the back of his neck nervously. “But I promise I’m going to get you a ring _and_ I’m going to re-propose and make it super romantic!”

Kenma only stared at him.

“Forgive me?”

“Fine, but only because I love you. You’re lucky,” Kenma finally conceded and allowed himself to be pulled into a tight hug, which he instantly melted into.

Next to them, Akaashi cleared his throat. “Kotarou. Is there something you’d like to tell _me_?”

Bokuto gulped. “H-how did you find out?”

“Hinata sent me the article, you dumbass!” he threw his hands in the air in exasperation. “Did you _actually_ think I wouldn’t find out?”

“Oh, that’s it?” Bokuto let out a sigh of relief but instantly stiffened once again.

“Excuse me?” Akaashi questioned rather menacingly. “What did you _think_ I was talking about?”

“W-well, we actually have some g-good news!” Bokuto was sweating profusely at this point and playing with his fingers anxiously.

“Oh? _Do tell_?”

“F-f-first, umm, Tetsu is rich!” He exclaimed and Kuroo pulled the wad of cash out of his wallet, which Kenma instantly grabbed.

“And I’m assuming there’s a second?” Akaashi implored.

“Well, you see,” he pulled the marriage certificate out of his pocket.

He and Kuroo each held an end of the paper, smiling widely and proclaiming in unison, “We’re getting a divorce!”

Bokuto had never seen Akaashi faint before, but, as they say, there’s a first time for everything.

Present Day

“Kotarou, I thought I asked you not to tell the story again,” Akaashi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Kenma and I have both heard it more than enough times, isn’t that right, Kenma?”

There was no response.

“Isn’t that right, _Kenma?_ ”

“Huh?” Kenma finally looked up from his phone, “oh yeah, sorry I kind of zoned out about half-way through somewhere near the ass-tattoo, which still looks hideous, might I add.”

“But Keijiiii,” Bokuto whined and squeezed his husband tight against himself. “It’s funny!”

“You had to get a divorce,” Akaashi deadpanned. “A week before our wedding. What part of that is funny?”

“Yeah, but after we did, I got to marry you,” Bokuto pouted. “And I have never once regretted that.”

Akaashi sighed once again and, for the first time, it wasn’t out of annoyance. “I know, and neither have I.” And then placing a kiss on the tip of his husband’s nose, “I love you.”

Kuroo snaked his way in and gave his best friend a sloppy kiss on the cheek with a wink. “And I love you too… _hubby._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! If you've made it this far I just wanted to say thank you! This is just a little idea that popped into my mind one day and I knew that I needed to make it happen, if nothing else, for myself lol. I hope you enjoyed and I hope you have a lovely day! :)


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